Today, Eva and Zoë are 50 days old. It seems only yesterday I was admitted to the hospital, due to complications in my pregnancy. I remember being so scared and thinking we might not even make it past the first night. Patience and prayers got us through it all, as well as support from our dear friends and family.
The past seven weeks have been full of all sorts of emotions. We feel such joy when we visit our precious girls, anxiety with each update from their doctors, and such emptiness when we are sitting in such a quiet home. Everyone says to enjoy this time while we can, because soon we won't have any free time anymore, but we'd give anything to simply have them home with us, and hearing their little cries will be music to our ears.
Now that I am driving again, I visit Zoë and Eva nearly every day, for hours on end. Whether I'm changing their diapers, taking their temperature, holding them in my arms, or simply enjoying their tiny grasp on my fingers, I always feel such love for them. Their tiny presence has changed my life forever, and every day I'm grateful for the tiny steps they've taken to bring them one step closer to coming home with us.
They are strong little fighters, and are such happy babies despite everything they've been through, both during my pregnancy and in the NICU. It's unbelievable how calm and mellow they are, even when the NICU seems to be a sea of chaos full of screaming babies. When we visit them, nothing else exists but our perfect little family of four.
That's why today as I reflect, all that comes to mind is "You make my heart smile". This is dedicated not only to my two precious angels, Zoë Elyse and Eva Grace, but also to my loving and, always supportive, husband, Victor.
The love you feel for Eva and Zoë is evident in your words - I don't even imagine what you and Victor go through on a daily basis, except that feeling of "the house is too quiet". I look forward to photos of the four of you together! Love and hugs to all of you.
ReplyDeleteSis: Having been in a place you are many years ago, I know whats on your mind. So many questions. Well, all that I can say is that be strong, let it all out, and pray. I thought it was the most difficult moment in my life, having Derrick stay in the hospital, so tiny, so innocent, and me so helpless. But I learned to let everything flow peacefully and before I knew it, I was home in bed and laying next to me was my little baby boy. And I swear to you, I could hear nor see anything. I was just in aweee. I gazed into his eyes and stayed there in bed with him for hours. Soon, you will be just like that, wrapped around an invisible circle with your two little girls and all you'll be able to do is stare. You will feel a big weight fall off your shoulder. That is god touching you and saying, I listened to each and everyone who prayed for you. Love you.(Michele) Gotta go, crying too much!!! C U SOON
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