A moment to reflect...

Pretty In Pink

How sweet it is.  Motherhood, that is.  Today, I take a moment to reflect and give thanks for everyone who was there for me this time last year.  Delivering my sweet angels was truly a labor of love, and without the incredible support I received from family, friends and the medical staff at St. Joseph's, I don't know how I would have gotten through it.

I could have never dreamed I'd be admitted to the hospital at 26 weeks, much less deliver at 29 weeks.  My stay in the hospital was necessary, and I knew that from Day One.  All the books and advice I took in could not have prepared me for a more unpredictable turn in my pregnancy.


What I remember the most from that precious day was hearing a tiny cry when they delivered my firstborn.  I was so relieved and overwhelmed with joy.  I looked up and saw the tiniest baby, as they announced it was a girl and held her up for me to see.  Within seconds, they pulled the second baby out and announced it was also a girl.  I didn't get to see her, and her cries were too faint to hear.  They prepared to whisk my babies away and asked Victor to join them as they transferred them to the NICU.  A wave of relief washed over me, but also sadness as I lay there on my own as they stitched me back up, without my babies and without my sweetheart.

It seemed like hours before I saw Victor again, though I know it was only a few minutes.  I was shocked when I learned how small they were, weighing in at only 2 lb 5 oz and 1 1b 12 oz.  I prayed their tiny size would not be a factor in their health and wellness.  I was wheeled over to meet them later that night, and thought they were so BIG compared to the image I'd played in my mind.  It was love at first sight, the moment I saw them.  I remember they were not next to each other, and that broke my heart, but I knew they'd still be close as ever regardless of their temporary separation.

Despite the pain I was in during my healing, I walked to the NICU the very next day to visit my girls.  I couldn't get enough of them, and was so sad they wouldn't be going home with me.  I spent Christmas eve in the hospital, and after exchanging our Christmas gifts on Christmas morning, I was released Christmas night.  

Although it was nice to finally be home, I remember feeling so empty having just given birth to two beautiful babies, yet being in such a quiet home.  I remember the comments, "Enjoy the quiet while you can; You'll never be able to sleep again;  Enjoy your last days of 'freedom' before they come home".  They were all wrong.  I cried myself to sleep wishing I could hear them cry all night, and comfort them in my own arms.  We called the NICU at all hours just to get an update on how they were doing.


One week later, we finally named our angels.  It was the most meaningful task we were ever faced with.  I know many were surprised in how long it took us, but we just could not begin to think about names until we knew they'd be okay.  We also wanted to get to know them a bit better, and make sure their names reflected their big personalities.  Today, I am happy with our choices as their personalities shine through more each day, and know we made the right choice in taking so long.  

Eva Grace and Zoe Elyse are our angels.  We were truly blessed on December 23, 2009, and the blessings continue as they grow.  There is no sweeter music than their little screams when they beg us to get them out of their cribs, and their little chatter when they seemingly talk their secret language as they stare at each other across their cribs with such expressive faces.


We are anxiously waiting for them to learn how to walk, so we can spend our days running after them and push the memories of them in the NICU further and further away from the present.

{Happy Birthday, Eva and Zoe)

You are more precious than you'll ever know. 
xoxo Mommy

 

So grateful...

I feel like such a dork.  This morning, while I watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, I was multi-tasking (as usual) and spoon-feeding the girls as we enjoyed Christmas songs and dances sponsored by the Parade.  I had a moment.  I was watching the silliest kid-friendly performance when it hit me.  I felt a warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach, and didn't exactly know why.  Then I realized, I was finally watching something silly for the benefit of my very own children.  This marks the beginning of a whole new era for me.  As I watch them swing and sway to the uptempo music on TV, I feel a sudden joy and pride for my beautiful girls.  I suddenly realize we have many more moments like this to look forward to, and that we are in for one long (and fun) ride.  

Every day I reflect on all we have been through, and all we are blessed with.  Despite everything we endured during my pregnancy and until we brought our sweet angels home, Zoe and Eva are doing just great and impress us more day after day.  I feel my eyes well up the first time I see Eva release her hands from her crib and keep her balance for more than three seconds.  I feel my heart smile every time Zoe looks at me with her mischievous eyes and her little smirk.  I thank God every day I come home to Victor, after he has spent all day balancing house chores and baby duties, while still finding time for himself.

We are so grateful to be where we are today.  One month shy of our babies' first birthday, we have happily settled into our new surroundings, and are ready for the new adventures life brings our way.  We look forward to sharing more of our sweet moments with you, as time goes by.  May you have a blessed Thanksgiving with your loved ones today.

Boo!

I guess we gave in to peer pressure for the girls' first Halloween.

Although we didn't participate in trick or treating, we did 'dress them up'.  

Here is the best I could do with limited time and creativity!  ;-D

Home Sweet Home

Four suitcases, three carry-ons, two carseats, and one stroller later -- we arrived in Florida on Tuesday September 21st, one day shy of the girls' turning nine months old.  Immediately, we took a liking to the much milder weather.  Yes, the humidity is high (especially when compared to Phoenix), but the warm breeze that often blows in your hair is just lovely.

The first week was indeed the toughest.  We spent our first four nights in a rather cramped and musty 'extended stay' hotel, which was really a lot more like a Motel 6 than like the Embassy Suite-like property we were convinced we were moving into, based on their website.  We focused on stocking up on our basic necessities (really, just diapers, formula, and wipies) and on finding a more permanent living arrangement for our little family right away.

After visiting several rental properties with a realtor, we learned that the properties listed with realty agencies were not going to be available soon enough for us, given we needed to find a place to move into immediately since our furniture was scheduled to arrive in less than one week.  We were devastated, since we had spent so much time looking at properties and were really anxious to leave the area and the hotel.  Also, the girls were not sleeping well, and Zoe even ran a high fever one night, probably due to all the stress of running around with us on errands and the increased exposure to public places.  We started our own search and were fortunate enough to find a nice, gated apartment complex less than a mile from my office, and moved into our lakefront apartment on Saturday September 25th -- also Victor's Birthday.

 

We happily slept on the floor until our furniture arrived on September 29th.  We went to IKEA and bought a comforter to sleep on and a few kitchen necessities to use right away.  The girls quickly settled back into their normal routine and we all slept much better once we were in our new home.  All ten thousand pounds of our furniture were delivered successfully, but we had to take a lot of it to storage since our apartment is much smaller than our home was in Phoenix.  In just about 10 days we had fully unpacked and put everything in its place.  We ordered internet and cable service right away, but we are still without TV due to many servicing problems we've had to deal with.  We now watch our favorite TV shows on the computer, until we get our service installed.


After really settling in, we finally found time to leave the house and explore our new area.  We met up with Phoenix friends, in town for a cruise, for Brunch in Miami last Saturday, and visisted Las Olas Boulevard and the beach last Sunday.  Miami was bustling, as usual, but Las Olas and the beach were just relaxing!  We are only twenty minutes away from the ocean, and it is nice to know we can take the girls there frequently without having to make a day out of it.  Eva and Zoe really enjoyed digging their toes in the sand, and feeling the water splash onto their legs as we held them by the shoreline.

Overall, we have adjusted very well to our new surroundings.  It is just a matter of time before we make new friends and get to know the area better.  Most evenings, we sit outside to feed the girls their last bottle as we watch the sunset over the lake behind us.  Weekends we just enjoy the warm weather and get to take the girls to a park for some fresh air.  We are looking forward to many more days at the beach and to countless nights watching the sunset before putting the girls to bed, and just simply enjoying a show on the actual TV in the near future.  We miss everyone we've left behind and are looking forward to connecting with those we've come closer to, here on the East Coast.  Stay in touch and feel free to leave your comments on our blog.

Home is where the heart is...

 Tami Proffitt Photography

Recently, we've been faced with a very tough decision.  After many months of searching for a new job, I have accepted a job with American Express.  The position is located in Florida, which means we will be relocating to the Fort Lauderdale area within the next two months.  While we search for a new home in Florida and make all the arrangements for our move, I will be working out of a local office in Phoenix.  

While we are very saddened to leave those close to us behind, especially now that we are new parents, we are excited to be moving to such a nice location, and hope to have many visitors.  I'm also happy we'll be a little closer to my East Coast friends and family, whom I left behind six years ago, and have missed dearly since the day I left.  We hope to make the most of our time left in Phoenix, and look forward to connecting with everyone in person before we leave.  We also hope we can see our East Coast loved ones soon once we settle down in Florida.


Like I said, this was a very tough decision, but in the end we are happy with our choices.  No matter where we go, we take our closest relationships with us.  My friends and families are evidence that no matter how many miles apart we are, we remain as close as ever despite the distance.  Now that we are parents, our top priority is providing the best living environment for our little family.  Wherever we go, we know "Home is where the heart is".  All we need is love, right? ;-D

Life is Beautiful.

I love my life.  Every day is a brand new day, filled with sweet moments of laughter and joy.  I can't get enough of my new girls.  They warm my heart each day, with their loud and spontaneous laughter and their mischievous ways.  I never thought being a mom could be so much fun, despite all the work involved.  As I write this, Eva and Zoe are quietly napping.  Sometimes I can't get over all the pain and suffering I went through to get to this peaceful state, at last.  

I spent some time uploading new photos of the girls today, onto my facebook account.  As I shared the new photos, I couldn't help but look back at some of the first photos we took of them.  How precious and tiny they were when we first met them!  God is good.  He took care of us so well, and really looked after our sweet angels the whole time they were in my womb, and in the NICU.  I am holding back tears when I remember how long those days were, when we anxiously waited to see how everything would unfold.  Our girls are so healthy and happy, despite everything they've been put through.  I cherish every minute we spend with them, and look forward to many fun times ahead of us.

Follow me on facebook to view more photos.

Anything you can do, I can do better...

Zoe and Eva, after another big day out

Lately, it seems Eva and Zoe have been adapting the same mannerisms and habits.  It's almost like they are trying to outdo each other...see for yourself!

Zoe, gnawing on Eva's arm

Eva, returning the favor...

Zoe, 'holding' her own bottle

Eva, 'holding' her own bottle

Zoe, lounging

Eva, lounging

Happy Mother's Day!

I am so blessed.  Today, on my first Mother's Day, I am reminded of how extremely lucky and blessed I am.  I have a wonderful husband, who continues to spoil me, and two beautiful daughters whose smiles light up my world.  Victor let me sleep a straight five hours last night after I went to bed.  How awesome is he!?  I love him, so much.  He started my morning by presenting me with a beautiful heart-shaped pendant of blue topaz, which is the girls' birthstone.  


We then got the girls ready and ventured out on our first  family outing.  We headed to the Biltmore Fashion Park, an outdoor shopping plaza, about half an hour away from home.  We were wary, but everything went extremely well.  Of course, per Doctor's orders, we kept the girls away from direct sunlight, covered their car seats with blankets at all times and avoided small children like the plague.  Sweet Eva slept the entire time, while curious Zoe kicked the blankets off and pleaded with us to let her look around at all that was so new to her.


We had a quiet lunch outside, while strangers walked by and looked at us curiously all the time oohing and aahing at our huge double stroller and the prospect of baby twins tucked away so quietly.  I was wished many a Happy Mother's Day by many kind people, and we even got to do some quick shopping for Mommy and Daddy while the girls were peacefully still.  


I have been blessed with such a lovely family.  I am looking forward to many more happy days we can enjoy together, as time goes by.

Our First Family Photo Shoot

We were fortunate enough to be able to book a professional 'newborn' photo shoot with our girls while they are still so nice and tiny.  This past Saturday, Tami [of Tami Proffitt Photography] came to our house and endured a long five hours of directing while we all cheerfully obliged and let her take full reign of the photo shoot.  Both Eva and Zoë did very well on their first professional photo assignment.  Our girls are naturals and did not put up (too much of) a fight as they were molded into sweet poses, solo or together.  

As a new mom, I was overwhelmed with the joy I felt when I saw them peacefully resting, or cuddling, and it was then that I realized that we had not really taken the time to slow things down to simply enjoy their presence and aura.  Despite spending so much time with my beautiful girls, I fear I had started to take them for granted.  It really was a treat to see them so relaxed and know that the time we were spending together as a happy new family was being documented by such a talented professional photographer.

We invite you to take a sneak peek at Tami's photos, which she has posted on her blog.

The Nursery

The nursery has been finished for a while, but I finally found the time to photograph it and post the details on my decorating blog.  Check it out on Haute Decor Designs by Haydee Duarte.  Hope you like it!

It's so nice to get out, still...

We are lucky to still be able to get out of the house, being new parents to twins.  My mom has come to stay with us for a while, until we are settled into our new schedule.  By that, I really mean, until I find a new job! During the day I like to take care of the girls' care and prefer her to take care of chores around the house, which is a big help on its own.  She still gets to help me with the girls' care too, just not exclusively.  This is nice, because lately we've been able to leave her with the girls while we go out.  We just had a movie night this week.  It was refreshing to watch a movie when it seemed we were the only ones there.  We watched Ghost Writer, directed by the ever infamous Roman Polanski.  It was brilliant.  We both enjoyed the story very much.  Tomorrow night, we have another Phoenix Suns game to attend and we're also very much looking forward to attending a friend's house party on Saturday.  It is a nice treat to continue to have a social life, and also find time to have dates here and there.  We're hoping we can keep this up once my mom leaves.  We'll just need to have babysitters lined up to help.  Any takers?  ;-D

Official Weigh-In Today

The girls had their second pediatrician's appointment today.  The highlight was finding out how much they've grown...Eva weighs 7 lbs 3 oz, and Zoë weighs 5 lbs 10 oz.  Such big girls, our sweet babies!

Photo of the Day

Zoë Elyse

Eva Grace

Bath time is so much fun these days...the girls behave so well and seem to really enjoy it!  Here they are after their baths.  How sweet they are, our little angels!

Twice as nice

It's so sweet when we can hold them together...

Too close for comfort?

We are so blessed.  Our baby girls do really love each other so much.  This is truly evident in the way they seek each other out when they are sleeping.  See for yourself!

Photo of the Day

I can't help myself! Practically every time I walk by, they are in a new cuddling position.  This is their latest one -- I caught them spooning...

{Eva on the left, Zoë on the right}

Introducing Eva Grace and Zoë Elyse

Here they are!  We took this picture on Friday, February 26th, at their first pediatrician appointment.  Eva is in the background, and Zoë is in the foreground.  By the way, did we mention before -- they are identical.  They do look a bit different now, because of the difference in their weight.  At their doctor's appointment, Eva weighed 5 lbs even, and Zoë weighed 4 lbs.  We are happily adjusting to having them at home with us.

Welcome home!

Finally, after what has seemed like an eternity, our baby girls were released on Thursday February 25th.  That date alone has proven to be my lucky day in so many ways already.  On February 25, 2004, I closed on the purchase of my new home in Phoenix; on February 25, 2005, I met the man who would become my loving husband; and on February 25, 2010, my precious girls came home from the hospital with us.  We are so blessed, and happy.

We have settled in--or better said--they have settled into their routine very well, and although we are tired, we have managed to sneak in naps throughout the day and are getting pretty good at taking care of them together.  It is only Day 3 of their time with us, and we've already gotten them on a 3 - 4 hour feeding schedule.  They also love sleeping in their slings when we are busy with other chores around the house.

They love us, and each other, so much.  You can see it in their eyes.  When they sleep next to each other, it's so precious.  They stare at each other dreamily at times, and it's just the sweetest thing.

We will post pictures soon.  I know everyone is dying to see them already.  Thanks again for helping us through this long journey, and we look forward to sharing many sweet moments with you in the future.

Valentine's Day {Zoë and Eva at 8 weeks}

Valentine's Day this year was especially nice for us.  We went to the Mission in Old Town Scottsdale for a delicious brunch, and then went to see 'Valentine's Day' at a matinee showing.  As nice as those experiences were, though, they were not the highlights of our day.

The best part of our day was visiting with Eva and Zoë.  They started Eva on bottle feeds during our visit.  She really took to it quickly, and was able to finish half of her full feed during her first feeding session.  We are so happy and proud!  She is going to be a fast learner, it seems.  Zoë will follow, soon enough.  They expect her to start bottle feeding by Friday.  In the beginning, they will feed from a bottle once a day, and then gradually move to once every twelve hours, and eventually build up to taking every feed through a bottle.  Once they can feed from the bottle exclusively, they will be ready to come home.  During this process, I will also have them experiment with breastfeeding, but I can work on that more once we bring them home.  As they progress, we are just happy to know they are getting closer to being released.

Another big event was that they are now co-bedding.  They were moved to a crib, together, on Sunday evening.  Last night (Tuesday 2/16) when we visited them, they were finally together again.  We carried them each for a while, and when we put them back in their crib, it was so heart-warming to see them look at each other in such a peaceful manner.  We are sure they have missed each other so much...

Our baby girls are nine eight weeks old today, Wednesday February 17th.

You make my heart smile {Zoë and Eva at 50 Days}

Today, Eva and Zoë are 50 days old.  It seems only yesterday I was admitted to the hospital, due to complications in my pregnancy.  I remember being so scared and thinking we might not even make it past the first night.  Patience and prayers got us through it all, as well as support from our dear friends and family.
The past seven weeks have been full of all sorts of emotions.  We feel such joy when we visit our precious girls, anxiety with each update from their doctors, and such emptiness when we are sitting in such a quiet home.  Everyone says to enjoy this time while we can, because soon we won't have any free time anymore, but we'd give anything to simply have them home with us, and hearing their little cries will be music to our ears.
Now that I am driving again, I visit Zoë and Eva nearly every day, for hours on end.  Whether I'm changing their diapers, taking their temperature, holding them in my arms, or simply enjoying their tiny grasp on my fingers, I always feel such love for them.  Their tiny presence has changed my life forever, and every day I'm grateful for the tiny steps they've taken to bring them one step closer to coming home with us. 
They are strong little fighters, and are such happy babies despite everything they've been through, both during my pregnancy and in the NICU.  It's unbelievable how calm and mellow they are, even when the NICU seems to be a sea of chaos full of screaming babies.  When we visit them, nothing else exists but our perfect little family of four.
That's why today as I reflect, all that comes to mind is "You make my heart smile".  This is dedicated not only to my two precious angels, Zoë Elyse and Eva Grace, but also to my loving and, always supportive, husband, Victor.

Go Suns!

Saturday (1/23), I returned to my first Suns game since before the babies were born.  I had missed going to a game for so long, and was so excited about returning, that our sales representative welcomed us back with upgraded seats.  We were seated courtside, in the first row, in the corner behind the basket facing the visiting team (Golden State Warriors).  I was so happy and grateful!  It is good to be back to normal, and it's nice to see so many people expressing their support for us in so many different ways.  GO SUNS!

Update on Eva and Zoë [4 weeks, 5 days old]

Eva and Zoë  are growing so quickly!  Eva now weighs 3 lb 8 oz, and is 16" long;  Zoë's weight is 2 lb 10 oz, and she's 14.5" long.  It's so amazing to see what a difference a few ounces make in their appearance; the doctor confirmed they are identical, but we can still tell our two princesses apart!
They have both been doing really well, and are feeding on my breast milk almost exclusively---they also receive additional calories from fortifiers.  Both of our darlings are very alert, yet at the same time very peaceful and mellow.  We've had the opportunity to change their diapers and take their temperature when the nurses do their rounds, and they rarely fuss or cry when they're handled.  Every time we carry them, they look right up at us with their beautiful brown eyes, and within moments fall asleep peacefully.
Today, I was fortunate enough to begin kangaroo care, with Eva.  It was the sweetest thing!  She lay right on my bare chest while I held her, covered with a blanket.  She looked up at me the whole time, and gripped my pinky tightly as I whispered softly to her and kissed the top of her head.  When it was time for me to put her back, I could tell she didn't want our time to end yet.  She wriggled around and clutched at me, so I could keep holding her.  It was the hardest thing, to leave her behind.  I'm just happy I got to hold her so closely, and that she's doing so well.  Tomorrow, I hope to start doing the same with Zoë.  It will be great when I can hold both of them like that together!

Time to finish the nursery...

As the weeks go by, with our babies in the NICU, we have been working hard at home to finish preparing everything for their arrival. 
I have had to order a few more clothes to fit them, since they will most likely still be smaller than 'newborn' size when they come home.  I found out that BabyGap stocks some items in a size 'Up to 7 lbs' which will probably fit them better since they will probably be around 5 or 6 lbs, at the most when they come home.  We also had to buy another shelving unit for our garage, to accomodate the overflow of items that will probably not fit in the nursery.  We anticipate using it mostly for diapers and wipies, and also for their travel gear so we can save some space in their closet and in our home. 
The nursery is essentially ready, with the exception of a few finishing touches. We have to hang their personalized picture frames, that will display their first tiny handprints and footprints along with their picture.  We are going to hang these over their cribs---to help everyone tell them apart!  I also plan to make a crystal pendant 'chandelier' to hang from the ceiling, but am still looking for some of the materials I need.  It will be similar to the popular capiz pendant lamps, but with crystals instead of capiz shells.  I am having a hard time finding the metal ring I need to string the crystals onto.  We are also looking to put up some pretty floral wall decals to soften the space---see the ones I'm considering below (available at WhatIsBlik.com).

Update on Eva and Zoë [4 weeks, 2 days old]

Eva and Zoë are progressing very well in their development, and growing stronger with each passing day.  They have both been moved to the Intermediary unit in the NICU, which is one step down in terms of high risk.  Eva has been taken off oxygen and is on room air only now, which is a big milestone.  Zoë is sure to be right behind her, as she is almost ready to come off the small amount of oxygen she still needs to keep her stable all day.  Zoë now weighs 2 lbs 8 oz and the last time we checked, Eva was at 2 lbs 13 oz, so they are steadily putting on weight as well.  I have been able to pump milk during my recent visits to see the girls, and I am looking forward to starting kangaroo care, which is when I'll be able to hold them up against me, in skin-to-skin contact, to increase our bonding time and aid in their development.  We are grateful that our babies are doing so well.  Thank you for your continued support and prayers.